Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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