My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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