do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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