But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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