New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
