Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
