Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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