I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize