dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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