You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize