Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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