every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
