come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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