their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize