? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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