not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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