Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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