I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the day after is always just damage control
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
