If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
