How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
