Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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