We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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