I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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