Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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