You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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