ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
