nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
