Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
