and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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