So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
