Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
