This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
