Sponge bath it is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
