so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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