Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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