she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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