WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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