i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
