youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I just sharted jello shots
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
