living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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