i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
