I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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