My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ketchup is God's man juice
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
