so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was confusing and full of hummus
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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