I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
