Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize