If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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