Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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