She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize