I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
