Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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