operation harelip BJ is a go
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize