Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
