needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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