Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I deserve this hangover.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
