Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
