you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize