Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Girls should come with a carfax report
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
