if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
