somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
