No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize