Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
