walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize