watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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