I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
